When Writing is Hard

Two challenges today. Two ways this blog is sacred and vulnerable. 1. I have a 3,000 word paper due and when writing is hard, I have to make space for writing that is easy. While this blog is simply my thoughts and opinions, that I doubt it will ever bring in any monies, it is a way to word vomit and hope that my words can impact someone else’s journey. My synthesis and reflection on motivation and engagement in digital learning spaces, is simply not freeing. So here it goes.

We are attempting round two. Come January I hope to complete another embryo transfer with hopes of this one sticking. We did a fresh cycle following IVF and now going for the frozen after taking a few months away from the process to grieve and reevaluate. As I am back in the fertility mindset and journey it is challenging to continue to work the 60+ hour weeks and still feel at ease. All the blogs state how stress impacts fertility but no one shares that it can be possible despite being a woman with a career and constant demands.

It is hard to be a “modern woman” not sure if anyone uses that phrase now a days, but has anyone else out there been shamed for being a provider, educator, inspiration, and all around strong human? I have been and will forever be. To take on such a strong role and still be expected (let alone wanting) this cycle to work has been a constant mental battle.

While the road has been rocky and will continue to be, it is only ourselves we can rely on to create the world and life that we want. Others help along the way and bring joy – hold on to those people in the dark days. We can and we will be able to have and hold the love we are patiently awaiting. Send all the good vibes for this new cycle, we never know when it will actually lead to a new chapter.